Primitive Brain Lesson 2:
Taking a Look From Her Side
So far we have covered the overall explanation of what Primitive Brain is and hopefully have given you enough information to accept it as fact that those innate and biological responses are alive and well in our modern society. In this lesson we are going to help you to understand from her perspective and identify some of the effects from the female perspective and we are certain that you are going to be surprised as to how Niceguyitis actually plays into stimulating the threat response.
Again it is critical that you understand that women are not consciously thinking about what we are talking about in a day to day interaction, unless of course she is a social scientist, but the influence of primitive brain is affecting your success and failures with women. Primitive Brain is affecting her decisions about you and many areas of her life on a regular basis, including the desire to stay in a relationship that is unhealthy or even boring and unsatisfying.
Jessica here…I’m going to be adding my 2 or probably more like 732 cents to this discussion so that you have some of my insight about all of this brain biz.
Okay, back to caveman days. Women living their own were dead meat. There was very little hope for her to survive without the support and protection of others around her and of course males. Obviously it was in her best interest to be of social value as well as to develop the skills necessary to be socially adept. That being said males had a completely different set of skill sets that needed to develop to improve his odds of survival as well as increase his odds of reproducing.
Females also had to develop and bond quickly with their mates as well as their children. More importantly it was critical for them to stimulate their mate to bond to them and of course the children. The brain chemical dumps play a major role in this necessity; a clear argument to support that male and female brain physiology are completely different and the development of the brain takes a completely different course as well.
Genetic make up to include basic symmetry of the body and facial features of potential male mates coupled with social status and ability to provide were the major factors for mate selection. All the way to the point that it was not all that uncommon for females to take a mate for his ability to provide, but to get impregnated by a different male more genetically blessed. Not because they were just cheaters, but for the sake of offering the best possible odds of survival and of course to pass on the strongest and the best genes available. This does not mean that women are natural cheaters it is simply to point out that the natural desires of our species is nothing to fight and a basic understanding of this would help to eliminate the effects of jealousy and the thoughts of inadequacy that some men suffer from when they feel they are not as good looking as other men. Modern social conditioning and her social values can and will deter her from acting on her impulses, so as long as you are fulfilling and providing the deal she is looking for there is nothing to worry about.
Please do not let this scare you. Remember we are talking about core survival and propagation. It is raw and animalistic. An animal does think about the possibility of her cheating, it thinks of how it can plant its seed and what it needs to do to continue to pass on its genes. Knowing this is an advantage, because as we teach you to reach in and allow that part of you to be known in a safe and socially acceptable manner, this raw drive can help you to make your relationships more interesting and of course satisfying for the both of you, not to mention create some powerful attraction and sexual tension when delivered! We want to give you the ability to release her raw desire on you. Without knowing what are the drivers and the effects it is impossible for you to be the conduit!
As you study and learn more about Bringing the Better Deal and how you are truly have the strength and have the self confidence to embrace all of what we are teaching you this will never be a scary thought for you again, it will actually be a stimulant!
We will talk about male drive as well in the next lesson, so you will understand more.
Now, let’s fast forward a few 100,000 years. Between male and female of our species, who do you think was the one that socially shaped the rules at which we were supposed to live by? Male of course! And if you were laying down the rules and the expected behaviors of men and women and you were in control of how that was all going to play out, how would you shape the rules? In the favor of male or female? Of course you would shape it in the favor of males. That is exactly what happened. Laws and social expectancies were all developed in the favor of men throughout history with very few exceptions. Even women with amazing power, still were forced to express themselves within the structures of accepted behavior.
Small interjection here…just as an FYI, there were many ancient female-based societies that survived and thrived for many ages. Many scholars, philosophers and historians will argue that somewhere around 5,000 years ago, there was a shift on the planet where the masculine influence began to dominate. Many argue that the mysteries of women’s psyches, intuitive capabilities and emotional natures left men bewildered and threatened by these differences. There are several respected thinkers who believe that this confusion led to men’s drive to reduce women’s power, influence and authority through fear based actions. So we’re here to help you better understand us so that you can come to lead us and be the lovers that you were designed to be…without the fear tactics. Back to our regular programming…
So, if the innate behavior is to seek out the most genetically superior individual to mate with and to support that with the most socially adept and highest ranking social male available how well do you think that fit in with a society where the rules of proper behavior are being implemented by men?
You guessed it not so well. Our social conditioning dating back as far as history has been recorded, which is only a flash in the pan as to how long we as a species have been developing, we have been forcing an extremely restricted sense of values on the Primitive Brains of women causing a great deal of inner conflict. Primal desire and raw sexuality forcibly suppressed into a nice and tidy, prim and proper expectation designed and enforced by men. And of course any actions taken outside of those guidelines labeled her either to be punished legally at some points, but definitely persecuted by religious belief and always resulting in some variation of outcast.
Where are we going with this you may ask? Well, that is simple going forward another 10,000 years to modern society. In the grand scheme of things and as women are finding a whole new sense of self and freedom staring in the 1920’s and really positioning itself from the 1960’s to today; women are learning to explore these innate desires to their fullest. The sexual revolution was not driven by men. It was and still is driven by women. This is being clearly demonstrated with the rise of polyamorous and open relationships. The practice of polyamory and the taking on of more than one lover with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved is not as new age as people would love to believe. It is not remnant of the ‘60s free love era; it is simply an acceptance of the raw nature of our species.
Point of clarity – this is not an argument for or against monogamy or the righteousness of any of the behaviors. It is simply to help you to understand that the primitive brain and innate behaviors that have been forcibly suppressed for thousands of years are finally finding the light of day due to the liberation that women have carved out for themselves. Again this is to your advantage.
Okay, it is cool that women are finding the tools to tap into their inner most cravings, but does that mean that women are going to want multiple lovers? NO! There are always exceptions and the population of women seeking to have multiple partners is growing, but there are still the other factors such as social conditioning and self value guided by role models and their beliefs that play a major role. Understanding this core primitive drive to mate and reproduce is going to help you to understand that women want you to be able to help them to tap into this core and help her to feel that she can be raw and sexual. This helps in level the playing field for you; the vast majority of women are still looking for the perfect one and only mate. Couple that with the knowledge of what we are teaching you about you and your behaviors and all of a sudden you are able to create a clear path for her to safely navigate and explore herself with you as the guide and conduit.
It is very confusing for women, just as it is for you. Society dictates chastity and monogamy; her body screams “you are not bound by this new man’s law” mate and reproduce and create genetically superior offspring that will survive. Her mind says one thing and tries to compartmentalize everything into this is how she “should” behave; her body says “let’s go for it!” Society looks down its obnoxious nose at her, yet her lover wants her to be wide open and wild. Not easy for them at all.
Thank you for recognizing the confusion and difficulty this creates for us…we are begging for men to be compassionate (mind you, I didn’t say take pity) about this and use this information in your quest to show up with the dignity, integrity and respect.
This is the fine line where a confident and comfortable male with this understanding comes into the picture and allows her to embrace this area of her existence. Ever wonder why some men just seem to have a talent for having women just want to have sex with them? You are learning right this moment what their secret is. They are not fighting this conflicted battle, they have learned to embrace and open up themselves and in doing so have cleared the road for the women they are interacting with to act on her impulses and drop her socially constructed inhibitions.
Now, let’s move into a basic understanding as to how this applies to you and what you are doing to help free and stimulate this raw individual or repulse it and drive it in the direction of another male.
The number one thing you must understand is that her safety has an incredible influence over her desires. Obviously today women have a much wider scope of freedom than the women in cave man days. Women are no longer dependent on the male of the species neither for their survival nor for the survival of their children. Although, if she is preprogrammed to seek that support out not only through her primitive drives but through the expectations of her role models as well as social conditioning and popular belief, she is going to aggressively seek out a solution to fulfill her needs.
Safety becomes a factor as you categorize all of the four elements we mentioned in the last lesson. It applies to primitive brain and innate skills particularly in the first few seconds of you meeting her and of course in the moments that she is out of her comfort zone; she is depending on these skills to assess immediately your social standing, threat level, mate potential and desirability, and of course her level of security. Remember she had to be able to assess all of these things quickly or she would run the risk of not surviving. On a not so morbid note, she may not have recognized the opportunity she was waiting for from the perfect available mate.
Another side bar from me here…I cannot underscore the importance of safety to women. I want to first explain that it isn’t up to men to single handedly cure and heal the collective fears and pains of all women. We both have a role here and you can do yours by being the exception to the stereotype. This is one that I’d like to see become greatly reduced, if not eliminated in my lifetime…and that starts now.
Okay, with all of that said there are the obvious safety threats such as: physically attacking her, threatening to harm her, loud or surprising noises, the male demonstrating hyperactive and aggressive behavior, and others around her being physically harmed or threatened.
There is also another list that in actuality the majority of men suffers from: demonstrating fear, presenting themselves uncomfortable, agitated or with fidgety movement, unpredictable or confusing actions, uncertainty, and demonstration of inferior social position.
The first list is pretty obvious as far as behavior that would trigger her primitive brain to take action.
The action the brain would take at this point is to fire up that fight or flight response or at a very minimum to discount the individual in front of her as an individual that has no value in supporting her primitive drives of survival and/or propagation.
The second list it may not be so clear, so we will help you to get your head around this a bit.
Remember that her primitive brain is functioning from the perspective of survival and propagation. If a male is approaching her and demonstrating behaviors that give her the indication that she needs to be concerned then of course that primitive brain will kick in and begin to activate the course of action to defend itself. For clarity, if a male approaches looking nervous and uncomfortable, maybe he is fidgeting or on edge; if you were a primitive brain, how would you translate this behavior? (Remembering that from a primitive brain’s point of view, if the bigger stronger male of the species is worried about something; “should I be worried?”)
Yes, she is naturally going to ask herself, “What is it that he is so worried about?”
Primitive Brain thoughts (subconscious):
- There is something out there chasing him and if he is scared, I should be scared?
- If he is scared of me, how can he defend me?
- Is this the highest and best candidate to pass on genes and provide for the offspring?
- How will the other males and clan members accept his authority, will they share resources with him?
- Fear, I sense fear, I must defend myself
Modern and conscious thought:
- What is up with guy?
- What does he want from me?
- This poor guy is a so nervous.
- Aww, how cute, at least he is trying
- Nice guy, but I think I will wait.
Ever ask yourself why it seems like hot and sexy women seem to be really attracted to jerks? Well, we are hoping that you are starting to get the picture and the understanding as to why this has an element of truth. They are trading the socially accepted behaviors for the raw and primitive drives. These bad boys and jerks are presenting just enough authority to buck the constraints of society and to take control of the environment they are in so that they are perceived (even if it is to just themselves) the leader or strongest presence available. Primitive drive says this is the most viable male.
Obviously we are not suggesting that you become a chest pounding knuckle dragging cave dweller, nor are we suggesting that you take the approach of being a jerk or just mean. The same effect that these jerks have can be accomplished by a confident and socially well adapted man that understands how to stimulate that “dark” side. A man that understands how to present some edge, but has the social prowess to stimulate the survival and propagation triggers in that primitive brain of hers!
One thing of note here…I am of the opinion that all men have this innate masculine tendency within them. For some, it’s right on the surface and readily accessible. For others, it’s hidden, deep below the surface, covered by doubts, mis-education and their own pains. No woman wants to be mistreated and disrespected, however, they will often (because of their own pains and disbelief that something better exists) settle for this poor behavior from jerks in order to have a sense of being with a man….which is not defined as a domineering and oppressive force. Rather, masculinity is more about a sense of personal power and assuredness that he can offer the yang to her yin. More on this in our Masulinity lessons.
Keep in mind that the edge we are talking about does not have to be leaning to the side of violence. This edge is just as easily presented with fun laughter and humor, adventure, or intrigue and mystery. Her not knowing what is going to happen next can be exactly what we are talking about so long as she feels safe or safeguarded by you in the unpredictable situations.
Are you starting to understand how from her perspective a raw and powerful male that has enough knowledge about how to unlock her primitive drives is going to be the perfect mix of man and beast!
Back to our second list! Men who suffer from Niceguyitis and are dealing with women from the position of her being the prize and in control of the relationship whether that is in the first meeting or after years of being together. They are not going to be delivering one of the four factors that she needs to be attracted to him in the first place, not to mention to stay attracted and stimulated. Primitive Drive!
As soon as she connects the dots (consciously or Sub-consciously), then she will stop providing for him what he needs and the respect, admiration, and sense of control that he needs to feel validated in the relationship goes straight to the toilet. This could happen in seconds or after the chemical cloud starts to fade. Our goal is to make sure that doesn’t happen!
We hope that is clear how what is now called confidence and masculinity are key players in attraction. It is not a new concept, it is not some new fangled manner of presenting yourself to get women; it is based in the primitive drives of the human. Being overly nice, uncertain, and of course afraid is actually going to trigger the defense mechanisms of the primitive brain and cause her to question the motives and actions of the guy presenting it to her. Not because she is mean or because you are not worthy; it is all based in the two basics drives of our species: survival and propagation.
Okay, you understand that primitive brain is one of the four factors stimulating her to be with you or to run away. It is one of the key factors to stimulating the chemical response in her brain to stimulate the release of PEA which is what is going to drive her to want to spend more time with you. This is true whether she is contemplating a one night stand, a first date, or the rest of her life with you.
Let’s move to taking a look at primitive brain from the male perspective to help you to understand from your own point of view what is going on and then we will tie things together and help you to use this new knowledge to your advantage.