The First Minute is the 4th most important time-frame in a potential romantic sequence.
Why “The First Minute” Matters…
- > If you’ve made it this far and you still have the other person’s attention, congratulations! If you’ve been clear with your body language and interest, then you will likely only make it this far 10-25% of the time. This means that if you’re great at meeting new people, you’re earning a batting average worse than an average baseball player.
- > After the first 30 seconds, this is your prospects opportunity to talk. If you talk too much after the first 30 seconds, you will be perceived as a “know-it-all.” Keep the balance. It’s safer that way. Do not dominate the conversation.
- > This is the best opportunity to assess the style of your prospect. By paying close attention to his or her pace and level of awareness, you can make the other feel safe by MIRRORING their posture, voice level, eye contact, content of conversation. Do not lose your prospect by trying too hard to be somebody else, but you will be scored based on your ability to process social awareness in the moment, with limited information.
- > You can utilize the content of the conversation to assess which direction to go. Ultimately, your objective is to get the other person’s contact information aka cell number or full name for facebook. At times, it is great to quit while you are ahead and end the interaction off a peak performance laugh or giggle or comment or observation.
A Few Suggested Practices for “The First Minute”…
- > LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN. Nothing sexier period than allowing someone to express who they are. This can be aided by putting your hand over your mouth to remind you to shut the expletive up! People are constantly subconsciously trying to find reasons to disqualify you and move on with their day because of wounding. By proving them wrong with full eye contact and empathetic listening, you will stun them with your magnetic presence. If they talk too much, then ask permission to interrupt. Every once in a while you will run into a chatterbox who loves to hear themselves speak until the cows come home.
- > MIRROR BODY LANGUAGE, VOICE LEVEL, POSTURE, CONTENT OF CONVERSATION. If someone is more on the shy side, don’t overpower them, just take it slow and steady. If the person is bubbly and sparkly, then move around more than normal and perhaps ask them to follow you to another part of the location. Don’t sit still with someone who is full of energy, expand it. Don’t go overboard to outshine them , but show the prospect that you see who they are, and that you appreciate this unique expression. It all depends on the context but hopefully you get the idea. Find out why they are this way too if you can. It’s always enjoyable to hear why people are who they are.
- > Consider asking for their number or full name for Facebook add, between this time-frame during the first 30 seconds to 1 minute, IF you are feeling it in your intuition or if you are peaking in your social interaction which typically means the prospect appreciates your approach. Sometimes just quit when you are ahead.
- > Also consider asking for their contact info EVEN IF THEY SEEM ALOOF. Often times people waver on their level of interest based purely on physical looks alone. If you demonstrate confidence that this person must know you, instantly, in that second, then you earn major style points and can overcome the limiting belief that you may possess about your looks or whatever not stacking up vs. the others’ expectations.