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The First 10 Minutes is the 5th most important time-frame in a potential romantic sequence.


Why The First 10 Minutes Matters…

  • > This is the time to acquire the prospect’s telephone number or full name for a facebook add.  This must be on your mind throughout the first 10 minutes.  Keep your eyes on the prize as if you let the person end the conversation abruptly, it becomes far more awkward to exchange details.  It is usually best to do it sooner than 10 minutes to be safest but if you have to wait until the right moment, don’t wait longer than 10 according to our research.
  • > By all means be yourself during this exchange and if you go past 10 minutes, that’s great!  Then your connection is accelerating!  I would suggest avoiding climaxing too early.  Safe some for later even if the other meets so many of your requirements.  Just be sure to express to her/him who you are by being your natural self now that you’ve made it past the initial forcefield we all tend to put up!
  • > Assess if you both can connect deeper than just on your common interests.  This is hard to explain in words but attempt to examine your connection to something greater than just each other in that precise moment.  Do you both have some sort of spiritual connection?  If you had to guess why you two were brought together, is it truly love or is it for some other possibility?  To go deeper into one another’s core belief systems is a huge plus if the situation allows for it to be possible.  For instance, if you go to church, synagogue, or a self-realization center, why not mention this casually to see if you elicit a response.  The sooner you know if you are spiritually connected, the easier it is to avoid another random encounter that ends in some sort of discombobulation.
  • > Be sure to learn about the person’s next couple of days to avoid any over-communication miscalculations.  Nothing is worse than not hearing back from someone after an initial amazing encounter, only to scare them away by over calling or texting when they were out of town or unavailable.  If at all possible, ask what they are up to this week & weekend without asking them out yet.  By just inquiring about their routine, you will also gather valuable insight in terms of which way to take the social strategy for a romantic exploration.  If you leave yourself in the dark, too much potential energy builds up in the gut and sets your mind racing as well.  Make it easy on yourself by asking this question early and then plan accordingly the following days of communicating.


A Few Suggested Practices for The First 10 Minutes…

  • > ASK FOR NUMBERS in unusual circumstances as often as possible.  Ask co-workers or friends of friends or people at the gym with whom you have no sexual interest in whatsoever.  You gotta exercise this muscle somehow.  It’s not easy because we don’t do it often enough.  That’s a big part of it.  The rejection factor is the other of course.  But the more you practice, the more you realize there is no perfect way or time to ever ask for a number.  It will almost always be catching the other person off guard or by pleasant surprise.
  • > Be sure you know how to talk about yourself in an interesting way.  Practice explaining what you do with an opposite sex friend.  Don’t do it with your regular group of friends because it will come across too manufactured.  By doing it with someone with the opposite sex, it creates more cohesive ying/yang energy, even if you are attracted to the same sex.  We have lots to learn from the opposite sex because 1% of men and women are different in every cell.  Heed the other person’s advice about ways to highlight the best parts of how you explain what you do for a living and for passion.
  • > Work on your sense of humor by poking fun at yourself in non-derogatory ways, yet silly ways.  Never talk about your body being out of shape, but you can describe yourself as a certain goofy celebrity or cartoon character.  The more you can take the other person away from their regular reality, the easier they come undone.  It is awesome to be vulnerable in a subtle deliberate way.  By mentioning that you aren’t the Beyonce’ you had hoped just yet, you will earn ‘safety’ points with the other.  Odds are the prospect will share something not-so-perfect about themselves too which is when the real essence of connection forms.  10 minutes isn’t a long time to go there but you will be shocked at how quickly people will open up if you take the lead first.  Humor is a great way to keep it light and fluffy and not sad.  We all need to work on ourselves and you need to know if you two can grow together, in strengths and most importantly in perceived ‘weaknesses.’
  • > Practice your story telling skills.  Use your hands and your eyes and your eyebrows when you speak.  Have a huge moment or two in your stories about your life.  Don’t just state the facts.  It’s not a police report.  Get into the juiciness of what might have happened or what you were thinking or dreaming of or wishing, etc.  By getting fully into your imaginative right brain, you will inspire others to want to know more about you.  Seldom are people good story tellers.  If you don’t have many good stories to tell about your life, so you think chuckle-chuckle, then start traveling more!  If traveling isn’t your preference, then read more dramas or poetry or science fiction.  Don’t just watch movies in all of your spare time because it doesn’t stimulate enough of your brain!  Another trick is to get some board games that force you to use your imagination more often!