Article : How to approach “The First Breakup”

The First Breakup is bound to happen…

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> If you aren’t willing to walk away from your lover because he or she disowns their word or disrespects your agreements, then you will become a servant to the other. Relationships are not about staying together because it’s easy or safe or simple. The reason we build relationships is to learn and one of the best ways to learn is to honor each person’s space. The era of co-dependent relationships in the 50’s as an example, is over. People today understand that their freedom is all they have. More couples allow time off, now and then, to test what they have. If you aren’t willing to walk away, then your partner will take advantage of you at some point. Get ready for at least 1 or 2 stands in your life against your partner. It will happen or else you will fizzle because their weren’t enough sparks for the fire.

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> Be cognizant that this will suck. Whether on the receiving end or giving end, triggering abandonment will definitely set you back with someone, but in some cases for good reason. Get comfortable taking breaks and stands in your relationship. Know what you need versus what you want. There is a fine line behind needs vs. wants and only your heart knows. Your mind can try to convince you of something but it doesn’t speak in beats. When you have a chance to say NO authoritatively, do it. This is a practice that must be a part of your relationship. If you can integrate it playfully, you are a relationship jedi. It takes a true guru to get compliance from refusing your partner’s wishes. Practice at work over silly matters in silly tones. Practice at work by refusing to take on too much unnecessary responsibility. Take it to your family members too when they ask you for too much. If you need a second opinion, ask your closest friends if it’s reasonable to reject someone. It will build up and tolerance to handle the inevitable uncomfortable. Whether you’re breaking up with someone or getting blindsided, you’ll have the endurance to hold the space and to feel the love in the perceived “separation.”

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