Social skills matter more than most men think. Simply put, social and situational awareness shows how connected you are to everyone as well as the moment. Due to the fact that women thrive on preserving relationships according to many studies and research papers, the socially tuned in man becomes a hot commodity if he recognizes how to communicate with different types of people under various circumstances. It’s a testament to maintaining relationships which many women adore and boosts her interest since you might be able to handle her when she’s not at her best self.A Few Suggested Practices to Enhance Social Skills:
1) Identify your roles (or archetypes) you enjoy to play most. Here’s a link to many http://www.listology.com/list/character-archetypes. Whether you see yourself as the investigator, the helper, the rescuer, etc., consider blending your primary roles with others that portray great charisma ie the leader, the Casanova, the gentleman. Now to integrate them properly you can examine some healthy examples of each, depending on what you consider healthy or do-able. Everyone has their own comfort zone within the spectrum of shift so choose wisely which is actually code for go overboard. Don’t aim to emulate anyone but the most inspiring in your eyes! Look at movies to study the behaviors of those you identify most with. If George Clooney or James Bond is too cool for school in your eyes, consider looking at many of Matt Damon’s movies where he comes across as a gifted talker and interesting Decisionist. Conversation is a choice just like a physical action. All it takes is practice in similar environments for people to feel connected to what is appropriate in that given context. Usually if you fully own whatever you do it’s socially cool, within reason of course. Bold is not often socially acceptable until you demonstrate that you understand that it’s bold. If you mess up and offend someone by doing your own thing, then quickly declare your awareness of going too far. If you cannot recognize it, that’s what turns others away- the potential future social disaster embarrassing that person! Find the men that you respect and analyze their specific body postures, positioning, and dialogue direction taking. Take notes at what you like and put this in your phone so you can remind yourself later. Watch the decisions on where to take the conversation as if they are pitches trying to get the other person to hit.
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2) This can also be extended to powerful female figures for women as well. If you fall into the roles of being motherly or a detective or naive dame in distress, consider adding more to your repertoire from the Enchantress or the Flirt or the Queen. Whether you’re attracting a man or a woman, the more spice you have to offer- the greater the likelihood to connect in some way, as eventual lovers or even as friends. Letting go of being one dimensional will help. Think of yourself as an actress or a dancer. Why play the same role in every movie or dance to one genre of music? That’s limiting your gifts to connect with different personalities. We all adapt whether we admit it or not, around our elders or colleagues. Instead of fighting it, goof around with it! Dress up and enroll your other friends in jumping on stage with you for a night. Just head out on the town after you have identified which movie star you will be for the night and do your best to stay in character half the time! And hold your friend accountable as she should hold you accountable too!
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3) Record yourself talking next time you approach someone in a setting. Just flip your phone to audio record while it’s in your hand out of sight. Listen to it later and write down the pros and cons of what you said that opened the other person to comfort and notice what turned them off by the tone of their voice. Notice how timing plays a huge role in this. A split second can tip someone off that you aren’t confident which leads them to believe you live in uncertainty with your inner truth. Keep in mind a lack of self-mastery or awareness is why people lack confidence. Once someone deeply understands who they are, fears begin to dissolve because the person is super aware of their own limitations. Being nervous around a new person hints of a non-deserving nature. If she isn’t feeling you, then why would you want to be with her is the logic most confident men follow. Listening and monitoring to your communication reveals insurmountable insights into your psyche. Why take the conversation that direction or this direction? Build on your successful conversation directions and leadership skills to extend them to various contexts and locations. For example, if you can tell that once you get a conversation going, it’s a piece of cake to keep a prospect’s attention in a quiet familiar place, then attempt to start a conversation in your favorite specific environments and proceed as if you know the person already! Pull a jedi mind trick on yourself and pretend that you know the person well and avoid corny openers, rather lead with a statement than a question! Contrarily, if you can kick off a first encounter well, but lose your train of thought after a minute or two, consider memorizing a list of 2 or 3 things that you GENUINELY want answers on from the opposite sex and softly bring these topics to question in a positive fashion with proper transitions and relevance. I believe stimulating topics such as “astrology” or “manifesting one’s future” or “is male chivalry dying for a good reason” or “choosing to live alone or with roommates” leads to people forgetting that they are talking to someone new. But be sure to clarify specifically WHY you are bringing these topics up ie if you just saw a psyhic, saw a man open a door for a woman, or are looking for a new apartment. Choose a topic that you think about regularly as part of your authentic self and then give a reason to dive into this topic, as if it doesn’t sound like it’s coming from left field. Waiting in line at a checkout stand next to horoscope or Cosmo magazines makes much better sense versus approaching someone in the parking lot heading into the grocery store. Timing is key- equal to environment. By approaching at the right context, you show social savvy.
