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The First 10 Seconds are the most important time-frame in a potential romantic sequence.


Why “The First 10 Seconds” Matters…

  • > People need complete safety upon meeting strangers.  We were taught as kids to never talk to strangers and that can impact our subconscious a significant amount.
  • > Professional educated people make decisions in seconds.  The subconscious also travels at light speed.  That first impression is exactly where you will start with someone new.  It’s much easier to start off at your best than to play catch up.
  • > It is the beginning and the fact that you two are crossing is somewhat miraculous.   If that first look or glance is heavenly, then it’s likely that you will take it further.
  • > This is where you show your social awareness and your opening energetic style.  This sets the direction of the interaction and all the transitions to follow.
  • > People disqualify other people using little info.  Most of the time, it’s a test.  Women especially must be extra careful with whom they allow access to any part of their life, due to the “text-stalkers” or “creepy guys.”  On the flip side, in flattering circumstances, we might question “Does this attractive person really fancy me, ‘that way?’  People often sabotage themselves by ignoring others advances because the ego seeks safety, which often means familiar misery at home on the couch watching realty television or playing video games.  Once you use integrate this bizarre fact into your mindset, it becomes far more reasonable to accept rejection and to tell when others communicate interest, verbally and non-verbally.   Usually a person’s little antics demonstrates whether or not they like you.  In most cases, the clumsier they are at first, the more they like you.  🙂


A Few Suggested Practices for “The First 10 Seconds”…

  • > Start your opener to the side of a person to make them feel less pressure.  Less direct body positioning makes your “breaking of the ice” appear more casual or accidental or fortuitous.  If it comes across as needy in any way, the game is over.
  • > Ask a person’s opinion, talk as if you know the person already to exude confidence, or make a unique ‘relevant’ observation.  As tempting as it is to say hi my name is …, it just comes across as too plain.  A few people who are dressed provocatively or dangerously can pull it off easily because it provides a balance of energy.  You wouldn’t expect the guy with the leather jacket to be such a “nice guy” at first hello due to the media’s influence or the girl with piercings or an ink sleeve to be such a sweetheart.  Think balance.  Most of the time we dress casually upon first meeting someone which is why it’s better to come across more distinct or unusually clever or tuned in to the moment. Say anything that is ordinary in the 10 Seconds and you will be fighting a huge uphill battle to transition into your pursuing self.  For some reason, it works that way based on our studies.  It doesn’t mean that less than 10% of the time you won’t be successful, you will every now and then.  But the purpose of this work is to increase your deep connection conversions by more than the average at 10%.
  • > Avoid interviewing the other person BUT MAKE THEM FEEL THAT YOU AREN’T THAT EASY!  If you put someone up on a pedestal within the first 10 seconds, then you immediately dive into your feminine.  Unless you happen to walk up to the most masculine of masculine beings, you will be creating an intense lopsided interaction that forces the other to question why is he/she worshiping me if they don’t even know me?  It is counter to safety instincts.  Deep down, it shows weakness, thus, be polite and adventurous to ask specific exclusive questions to your prospect.  If you treat the exchange as a playful Q & A, then you exude that you know your type.  This will create all kinds of attraction, especially if the person doesn’t fit perfectly.  People naturally desire to be accepted and asked out.  If you come across as decisive, the prospect will begin to pay close attention to their potential connection with you.  Often times, if you ask two questions that don’t resonate, he/she will try their best to find common ground to create a balance.  Women do this more than men according to our research because they hold relationships more close to their hearts than men.
  • > DO NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!  Most people feign no interest because they are in another world.  The wounding of the past also plays SUCH a significant role in the decision to engage or not.  Don’t hold it against the other person right off the bat.  Just adapt and play off the fact that they are saying “No” for no good reason.  After 2 No’s, perhaps even 3,  give it one last shot with a smile throughout the soft challenges.  Women especially adore being earned and telling a good story about how he had to fight for my heart.  We are hard wired this way for all sorts of reasons that date back to tribal days.  A woman will feel nth degrees safer with a man who boldly took several attempts to overcome rejection to win the award.