By The First 10 Minutes Team
Do butterflies prevent you from striking up a conversation with someone stunning at the gym, a grocery store, or a restaurant?
If you said no, you are an enlightened legend and we salute you. For the rest of us men who stand here humbled often by the beauty of a radiant woman, sometime we shut down. Maybe we come up with some excuse like “she’s too hot for me” or “I will look like a dope if I talk to her and interrupt” …blah blah blah! It’s up to you. Nobody is ever going to know if something could have happened between you and her unless you make a move.
Now the hard truth is that less than 20% of people you approach will likely be interested or compatible with you so get used to batting between .100 and .200!
So swing away knowing that failure does not exist. This life is not about playing it safe anymore if you want the best kind of love. So in order to achieve great lovers we must show them we are worthy of their greatness by being willing to risk our fear!
How do we do that? Well depending on what type of guy you are, you can try a few different strategies and tactics…
For the more reserved, introverted, soft spoken man, or just a guy on the shy side, try to approach an ultra attractive woman standing by herself in the gym, grocery store, or restaurant and USE THE FORCE of Nothingness. Therefore come from “NOTHING to lose” (if you need to tell yourself ‘fuck it,’ then say ‘fuck it’ in your head as you approach). Women standing alone are far easier to talk to, especially if you have a good reason. Any reason will do but the better the reason, the more likely she’ll drop her guard.
Here’s how to act like you’ve got nothing to lose:
• Walk right over to the person you find interesting and just sing a tune in your mind to literally fill your brain with ZERO thoughts. DO NOT look at them until you stand in front of them. Long continuous stares add pressure because it takes you out of your normal routine. The more unfamiliar something is, the more fear creeps in.
• Slow down casually, nonchalantly to stand in a position with your posture sideways to avoid confrontational body language, even walk and turn sideways when you see first come straight to her.
• Ask a question that you are genuinely excited and curious about what this person may be doing but mentally pretend to be a tourist or on vacation! High energy is key! You can even give her a reason as to why you are asking ie. ‘I’m just getting back into the gym, eating healthy, or trying new food.’
• Be prepared to ask several questions because she might be taken off guard at first, but when she ascertains that you just want to shoot the breeze, she’ll soften up in a few minutes. Be sure the questions are logical and relevant! Even consider offering some knowledge of your own to show her you know what’s up.
• After a few minutes, read her body language. If she’s smiling and enjoying your situation, tell her that you need to get back to your party/workout/shopping and that you’d like to continue this some other time. Keep it under 10 minutes, the actual target time being more like 2 minutes.
• Ask her for her details, either Facebook name, or number, and move on. Add her right there or give her the phone to add her own contact details so you don’t fidget.
Some sample questions to ask:
• In the Gym: “How many sets are you doing? You look pretty strong!” “What body parts are you working out today?”
• In the Grocery Store: “You must be a master of health! Are you as healthy as you look?” “Do you know lots about cooking/juice/vitamins/etc…? It all depends on where they are standing as to keep the conversation RELEVANT. The more value you can add to the conversation, the more she’ll have a reason to keep it touch. Share some health tips or cooking secrets of your own, on the fly, to keep it meaningful and more importantly, spontaneous!
• In a Restaurant: “Have you ordered a drink yet?” “Is there anything on the menu youuuuuuuu suggest I try?” Make yourself stand out by being slightly overly flirtatious. Keep your eyes locked until she looks away when exuding silly confidence. Then balance it out by not looking her in the eyes to make her desire your eye contact even more. A man who owns his flirtation unapologetically shall trigger an emotional response from the female brain.
If you are more of a mellow man, be yourself and just relax into the Truth of the moment. The Truth always sets you free. Just believe that a greater force is on your side that reminds you IF IT’S MEANT TO BE IT’S MEANT TO BE!
Nine times out of ten you will be able to connect with a more aggressive female if you allow them to help you by seeking assistance of some kind. If they feel important or needed, then all the better for the roles to work out for you both in the longer term.
The goal is to treat the situation as if you are simply asking a question like you need to know, granted your true objective is to determine if you could see yourself connecting romantically with this person, but women won’t care if you break the ice in a regular fashion.
Keep in mind your clothing will dictate to her who you are and how you will be perceived. Use this to your advantage to visualize yourself as a person from out of town, perhaps a tourist. By stepping into that mindset, you will feel safe to be seeking information.
Then after the ice is broken, you must decide where to go in the first 10 minutes….