Definition and Explanation
One of the only reasons I feel qualified to write a portion of this track is not because I am a licensed Marriage Family Therapist, but because as a representative of the female species, I love to communicate. I love talking. I love reading the nuances of how a bite of the lip or hair flip can send a man reeling. I love moans, groans, squeals and other utterances of ecstasy. I love how the dances of glances say everything without exchanging a sound. I love it all and as the social scientist that I am, I have made an observation or two about how women respond to the expressions (verbal, physical, energetic and sexual) of men. Allow me to elaborate on why this is so important for you.
Why Do I Need to Know About This Now?
You may be asking yourself about the importance of communication, since you may not be in a relationship right now. You may assume that “Communication” lessons are the things that committed couples battle about in counseling. By learning some of these lessons now, you may save yourself the time and pain involved in duke-ing it out down the line.
It is especially advantageous to have some insight into your communication style and how to enhance it… along with how women perceive it if you want to succeed with us. Again, most men are not willing to put in the time or effort to delve into this and doing so puts you heads and tails above your less-than-aware counterparts. Translation: you stand out as the preferred option in the pack. You win the woman.
Here are some of the challenges that enhancing your communication skills will help you overcome:
- How to express your interest without words
- How to read non-verbal cues that indicate interest
- Effective ways to demonstrate your value, confidence, intellect and humor
- How to listen for information that will lead to asking interesting questions that keep conversation flowing
- How better to approach difficult topics with class (including breakups, brush offs and questions about commitment)
- How to effectively express your needs and desires in a direct and respectful way
How Did I Develop my Communication Style?
You communicate all day, every day. Even your smallest expression is a statement about what you’re thinking or feeling. It is a barometer of sorts into your inner world. Our early experiences shape the way we express our internal experiences to the outside world. If you had a healthy and safe environment, you were likely given permission and encouragement to express yourself in a way that was in alignment with how you were feeling internally. On the other hand, if you had a less than safe and supportive situation (as most of us did), you may have learned that it was unsafe to openly let your thoughts and feelings be known. In response, some shut down and kept things in, others angrily expressed themselves in order to be heard and yet others indirectly expressed their negative feelings in vengeful ways. Each of these types of communication plays a role in how you approach communicating as a human being every day.
Over the years, you have likely continued in whatever manner you were most exposed to or the way that felt most comfortable to you. This mode of communication, however, may not be the most effective or useful way to get your point across. Most men don’t study communication unless they intend to use it in the business world. However, even those who have some working knowledge of it don’t necessarily know how to apply it to women. For others, you’ve received some schooling in the form of your relationships with women and you either A) Have some basic insight or B) Have enough insight to make you completely baffled. Thankfully for you, I’m here to shed some light upon this subject and I’ll do my best to translate it into guy-talk.